So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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