He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
