Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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