I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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