i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
