just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
