that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
