I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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