around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Your shirt... Was in my pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
