please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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