Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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