I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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