she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
