Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize