tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
