When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Someone came in the potted fern
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
