this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
