i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
