Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
