Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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