you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
