You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
