when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
