Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
