butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
