Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
