Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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