i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
