Yo dont text me then not text me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize