Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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