Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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