Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
