Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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