hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
