Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
