I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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