PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
