next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
