just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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