I'm really into asian looking animals
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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