Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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