this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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