Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
