i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
