dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
