LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A bitchslap is in order.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
