What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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