I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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