You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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