The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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