meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
