You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
