and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize