im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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