I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize