Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
