so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize