I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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