Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
