Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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