I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
