He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
