halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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